


Noir

by MsDaring, UrbanCentauress



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Dark dining, Dreams, Elevator, First Kiss, Flirting, Food, Friends to Lovers, Illustrated by MsDaring, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Pencilwork by MsDaring, Performance, Scents & Smells, Sensual Play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-10 05:23:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19900513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsDaring/pseuds/MsDaring, https://archiveofourown.org/users/UrbanCentauress/pseuds/UrbanCentauress
Summary: This is a journey of the senses that leads Yuzu where he has long wanted to be.





	1. Noir

**Author's Note:**

  * For [estriel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/estriel/gifts).



> This story was inspired by Estriel, whose work I so admire, who insisted that I start writing and it would come to me, and, oddly enough, it did. Noir is hers, because she saved it from being a trainwreck multiple times. Noir is hers because she convinced me I could write and supported me throughout it. Thank you, dear!
> 
> I wrote this to be read out loud, slowly and at my own pace, and without realizing, I held on to it rather posessively, unwilling to accept other interpretations than my own. MsDaring, who I am grateful to call the visual co-author of this story, changed that point of view by adding her marvelous illustrations and in so doing - new layers of interpretation that enrich the text and open it up to whoever will be reading this to have their own Noir. It showed me that what I wrote is no longer mine, it is yours. ¡Gracias, encanto!
> 
> *The text in italics is designated for the characters’ thoughts and song lyrics.

“Are you sure?”, Satomi asked already knowing the answer. If Yuzuru Hanyu made up his mind, there was no way anyone could dissuade him. They had been working for enough years to have the rapport free of formalities, so it was enough for him to look her in the eye and offer a half-smile to confirm.

“Black it is,” said Satomi smiling at her own incredulity, folding the unruly fabric that was so thin and silky it was hard to keep it in place.

“Come back in a week for a sketch?”

Yuzu looked at the ceiling folding fingers one by one, muttering something and going through the latest agenda in his head.

“Yeah, next Friday at noon is fine. I’ll send you the music this afternoon so you can start conjuring up some images.”

She knew immediately she had nailed it once again. Hard as he was to surprise after having gone through so many programs and even more costumes, the sketches of the graceful figure holding different poses on the sheet of paper clearly made an impression on him.

“How the heck did you know?”, he asked, unable to contain a smile.

“Well, I thought we were only giving up on frou-frou, you said nothing about leaving out the sparkles!”

The sketches themselves were beautiful, but they didn’t do any justice to the actual result. For the first time in his life, Yuzu looked at the mirror and saw a man looking back at him. He lowered his eyes to look at his waist, his tight muscles caressed by the silky fabric like the surface of water covered with liquid petroleum during a marine spill: pitch black and mimicking every move of the surface it covered.

His scrutinizing gaze travelled upwards, to see his broad, toned chest emphasized in a way his black training gear sometimes did, but creating even smoother lines, clinging to his pecks, showing off the deep indentation between them and rising up, where it was strewn with gold and diamond crystals that shone like an armor of precious metals, covering his collarbones, his solid shoulders, and rising up high on his long neck. The sleeves were short and exposed his lean and toned arms, as he flexed them absentmindedly, repeating the move that, when exercised with all the force, would propel him into the air and result in four and a half rotations around his firm axis before he would land with a smooth sound of the blade cutting the ice.

As he turned his left shoulder backwards, eyes still fixed on his reflection in the mirror, he got a glimpse of the deep slit at the back, opening up to show his alabaster skin uncovered, no mesh to prevent the feeling of cool air kissing his spine. It was a masterpiece that could only be matched by his new gala performance. A combination that would leave the spectators in awe.


	2. Liberation

Contrary to what Yuzu had thought would be the case, being the oldest skater among the seniors at Cricket Club came with a sense of freedom. He knew his status as a role model was never questioned, he knew everybody looked up to him, he witnessed many a time the effect his encouragement had on his peers. Being older did mean being wiser, less up-tight, more out-going, more chatty and more readily available for human interaction. As Brian himself had noted, Yuzu was far less tense than the lanky breathless teenager that he used to be. Instead of a hurried (albeit most sincere) bow to the receptionist at the entrance to the club Yuzu would now bow and pause for a conversation. “Hey Sam, that’s a nice shirt,” he would rush down the stairs but still find the time to ask the janitor about his wrist that had been acting up. “Need help with box?” Yuzu was not a social butterfly, he still had his moments of solitude, so indispensable for his feline nature, but he no longer felt the necessity to isolate himself from the loving world that surrounded him. And the world… loved it.

***

Packing was an easy task, an every-day matter, if you asked Yuzu, but as he picked up the thin box with his black costume, a strange excitement fluttered in his chest. Lying partially covered with crisp tissue paper there it was, straight out of Satomi’s atelier, sparkling like a promise of something new...

  
Once the suitcases were zipped up and ready to go, he took a warm shower and got ready for bed, tomorrow’s flight would be long and tiresome, and he still stood by his idea that getting enough sleep was the best source of energy. Eight hours of sleep, for which he would later be so grateful, two delayed flights and a long cab ride later, the sliding hotel doors opened up revealing familiar faces crowding at the reception lounge.

“Hey there Yuzu, we were wondering what was taking you so long!” Maia’s hugs were never uncomfortable, for some reason, being Alex’s little sister turned her into the little sister of everybody. “Alex? Oh, over there, canoodling with his girlfriend”, a loving eyeroll on her face said it all. “We’re catching up before the welcome dinner in forty minutes, you’re just in time to join us!”

After checking in, Yuzu had almost made it through the animated crowd to the elevators, nodding his head and smiling widely, as both his hands were occupied with luggage when, all of a sudden, a whiff of painfully familiar scent stopped him in his tracks. All of a sudden, his knees go a little weak, all of a sudden, the loud conversations of his fellow skaters fade away to distant murmurs, all of a sudden, he’s enveloped in rich notes of grey amber, vetiver and moss, with a heavy base of enticingly sweet vanilla. All of a sudden, the hotel lobby disappears, it’s a humid summer evening in the parking lot outside The Cricket Club, they’re hugging for a brief moment to say goodbye, the scent fills his lungs and his mind in a slow and deep inhale. Javi...

“Leave your stuff upstairs, freshen up and you’ll join us?”  
“Save me a seat,” says Yuzu and gives him a quick wink before disappearing behind the closing elevator doors.

 _“Joder, me cago en la… did he just… wink at me?”_ Javi could sense flirting if it was a mile away, but now he was left astonished, confused and completely discombobulated. It was Yuzu, after all. Yuzu, who was always friendly, touchy-feely and approachable to him, but no touch had ever made him feel as excited as did that one single wink. He ran his palm over his face and turned around smiling to himself, joining the bubbly crowd, but unable to get this short exchange out of his mind.


	3. Sweet Delirium

Yuzu had woken up feeling refreshed and energized, not so much by the sleep, as by the vivid memory of the previous night’s dinner. The air was filled with Zhenya’s giggles, as she and Jason were putting Javi up to date with the latest jokes at the club. Everybody was in a great mood, snapping selfies here and there, leaning in from where they were sitting to fit in the frame. Some skaters were catching up in smaller and more intimate groups, while Scott was roaming around the big table, glass in hand, leaning on the backrests of chairs and being the clown that everybody expected him to be.

What made this otherwise rather customary get-together before an ice show different from all the others was the food, worthy of the chef’s renowned reputation. This time they were treated to a dinner followed by a surprise from a Michelin chef, who indulged them in a luxurious variety of desserts, each one more creative than anybody thought was possible. The cakes and pastries were layered, decked with edible flowers, served under crystal covers, with cherry blossom buds trapped in cones of transparent gelatin, infused with lavender and jasmine, rich and chocolatey, filled with tangy marzipan and dusted with gold... Looking at the delicate garlands of paper-thin, melt-in-your-mouth meringue petals strung together around soft peach pastries made it hard to resist the temptation to try them, and at the same time inspired a feeling one gets when presented with unique works of art, which one isn’t supposed to touch. Marie Antoinette would have lost her wig had she lain her eyes on that multitude of ambrosial temptations.

Yuzu couldn’t really tell though, what he was enjoying more – the aromas and the textures of the desserts that were a treat to look at as much as they were delicious, or Javi’s reactions to them:

“Mmmm, oh my god, have you tried this? You should try this!”

In his mind he kept going back to the moment when, overwhelmed by the fragrant strawberries and the unexpected twist of basil on a moist bed of sponge cake, Javi shoved a piece of the desert into Yuzu’s mouth with one hand, while at the same time gripping his thigh with the fingers of the other, their knees touching firmly under the table. He remembers laughing as he brushed off a piece of the cake that had stuck to the corner of his lips, not breaking the heated eye contact with Javi, who was looking at him in anticipation of Yuzu’s reaction, a cheeky sparkle in his hazel eyes, the warmth of his hand still burning through Yuzu’s pants.

“Well?” “Is he a genius or is he a genius?”, insisted Javi jokingly. Yuzu, unable to respond, mouth still full of the sweet delirium, dropped his head back arching his neck, smiling, as he heard Javi call out “Oh, Antonio, here you are! We’re devouring your amazing desserts in here!”

“Well, you guys better get ready for what we prepared for you when you’re done with the show! Has any of you ever tried dark dining?”

“Seriously, there’s more of this food coming?”

“Wait, what? Dark dining, you said?”

Whatever it is, Yuzu hopes Javi will be sitting next to him at that dinner table, looking at him, making him laugh, finding excuses to touch him, feeding him mouth-watering delights, indulging him in little pleasures… Still feeling tingly from the thought of Javi’s fingers brushing against his lips, he pops in the shower and gets ready for an interview which is only minutes away.


	4. Practice Makes Perfect

“Hello, this is skating PJ, I am here with my good friend Yuzuru Hanyu. It is wonderful to see you again, Yuzu. You have something new for the audience this season, you will be skating to Carmina Burana. Tell us about your new program,” PJ was enunciating, as she always did in her interviews.

“Thank you, yes, I feel very happy for the… for the new program,” answered Yuzu with an energetic nod.

“Tell us about why you chose Carmina Burana for your performance.”

“Mmmm, honestly, I really really love the music, but then, I re… researched? –“

“Yes, researched…”

“- I researched the lyrics and I really love the lyrics too for the… for the music, so I decide to skate to this music.”

“Yes. What was so special about the lyrics?”

“Mmmmm… I feel like… like… you know, like it is about my… life?” answered Yuzu in his usual rising intonation, not trusting his English to convey exactly what he meant. “Like my skating, too. And then… it is power… mmm… powerful?”

“Yes, powerful”, reassured PJ with her clear diction. “You know what, I am sure it is going to be yet another stunning program, we are looking forward to your skating. All the best, Yuzu, and thank you so much for talking to me.”

“Thank you very much.”

Another selfie with PJ, another quick exchange of best wishes and he is off to the first rehearsal.

***

“Can we do this again?”

“Can somebody stop the music please?”

The first practice was as messy as it could get, with Yuzu being pretty much the only one who could follow Shae-Lynn’s instructions. He was focused, but certainly not oblivious to what was happening around him, especially to the fact that whatever attention he showed his long-term rival and training mate was returned to him twofold. He started realizing… that this wasn’t new, just newly discovered, that Javi, his Javi, had always been there, giving him prolonged looks, opening doors, comforting him, wrapping him in his fragrant hugs in the moments of victory and those of loss. He had always been there, waiting, but never intrusive, as if he had needed a sign from Yuzu, a simple wink, to unleash what he had been holding in all those years.

Yuzu surprised himself with how comfortable he felt teasing Javi with his newly discovered confidence, how Javi ate him up with his eyes and didn’t try to hide it, how he gravitated towards Yuzu whenever they got a break from skating, how his hands reached for his slim waist, the thumb drawing slow circles before unwillingly letting go, always lightly grazing his buttocks as he did so, how Javi would appear as if out of nowhere whenever Yuzu spent too much time fooling around with somebody else, to claim what’s his, to caress him with his gaze, to remind him what his hands felt like.

“I am my only rival,” Yuzu liked to say about his competitions. _“I am my only rival,”_ he thought, looking at Javi. That thought alone fired him, it burned with a flame that gave him unprecedented force, it powered his skating, it ignited a passion, akin to the one he felt when competing for a medal. It got him out of bed in the morning, it kept him up at night, it drove his hands to caress himself in the shower, imagining it was the wide palms he knew so well-- feeling him. It left little room for anything else in his mind, it consumed him no end.

***

Once the show was put together, the skaters got individual ice time to do some final run-throughs of their single programs during the last rehearsal. Yuzu was to skate first, from 8:30 to 9:15 in the morning. Javi showed up at the rink at exactly 9:16, skate guards still on, with a cup of coffee in his hand, only to witness a round of scattered applause that echoed throughout the empty bleachers of the rink.

“What did I miss?”

“What did YOU miss? If you really wanna know, you missed Romeo and Juliet on steroids, that’s what you missed, buddy.”

“Yeah, you would think it’s an overused theme, but this guy just made all the skaters who ever skated to Carmina Burana look like circus bears in tutus.” Alex’s remark got everybody nodding their heads in a unanimous “I know, right?!”

“How come you’re only showing up now, mm?”

“Zhenya, sweetheart, I’ve seen this guy skate for years, I’m sick and tired of him! I wanted to sleep in, OK?” said Javi faking a laugh and looking at a sweaty panting Yuzu from the corner of his eye, as the next skater was taking his place.

That was a joke, it was also a lie. More than anything else, Javi wanted to see the new program. Instead, he spent about an hour scrolling through pictures and catching up on some Spanish news on his phone at a local café across the street form the rink. He wanted tomorrow’s performance to be the ultimate experience, unspoiled by repetition, fresh and new. Yuzu was giving him so much already, but with every day that passed, he wanted more.

Javi could watch Yuzu skate for hours on end, tirelessly admiring his long lines, his gracefulness and his organic passion, but by depriving himself of this pleasure he knew he would multiply the effect and be rewarded by the full-blown spectacle that only Yuzu was able to create. It was a sweet torture that Javi was sure would pay off…


	5. Corde Pulsum (Vibrating strings)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://www.austinsymphony.org/files/Carmina_Burana_translation.pdf
> 
> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GXFSK0ogeg4

They’re crowding in the hall and Javi doesn’t even notice how he nervously shifts his body weight from right to left, from one blade to the other, from East to West, like a mindlessly rhythmic pendulum, when the elevator doors open with an automatic “Ding! Ground floor. Going up” and everything around him stops, he stops, his vertical axis planted in the dead center of the world.

Out walks Yuzu. His head held high, his gaze piercingly sharp, his raven-black hair swept to the side effortlessly, as if by a sudden gust of wind, long neck and defined shoulders armored with a myriad of crystals that make him look like a beautiful knight, ready for combat. The tight triangle of his torso is suddenly approaching Javi, leaving him at a loss for words...

Three long seconds pass until they face each other. Three long seconds in which Javi’s mind goes on a mad detour of imagery, three long seconds in which he sees something as familiar as the back of his hand: Yuzu’s determined walk, the walk he’s had before every competition and every show, this tall androgynous alien walk, incredibly fast-paced, the one that made him look like a creature from a fantasy movie, his blades now a part of his body.

It makes Javi wonder again, how come he feels like he’s missing about four inches of height when he looks at himself in the mirror after taking his skates off, while Yuzu’s figure remains perfectly proportionate regardless of whether he’s wearing his skates or not. How come that same waist reminds him at times of the sensual S curve of a medieval French Madonna - an indelible image he has from touring some churches with his family years ago - and yet other times, of the masculine midriff of David, the symbol of virile beauty, carved in the eternal contrapposto of white marble. How come one single person can embody such contradictions, how come the familiarity of Yuzu’s walk is now enmeshed with something completely unrecognizable, yet so enticing, how come Javi’s feeling hot and cold at the same time, how come he cannot stop his mind that keeps conjuring up images upon images but is unable to utter a word? How come he cannot take his eyes off of that breathtaking torso that is moving towards him?

“What?” asks Yuzu with a flirty smile, as he finally stands in front of him, noticing the starstruck face.

“You,” says Javi, finally meeting Yuzu’s eyes. And they are back to familiar grounds, where few words are needed to say it all.

***

This is it, the anticipation is making Javi’s heart pound even stronger than it did when he took a bow after skating his program. He was rewarded with a deafening round of applause, but he knew, just like everybody else in the packed arena knew, that this was Yuzu’s night.

There he is, taking a deep breath, making his way to the ice, passing Javi, slowing down, turning around – Javi sees it happen as if in slow motion- leaning in for the briefest of moments, as the lights go out, before his name would be announced…

“Enjoy it,” Javi hears.

Under different circumstances it would have just meant that: “Enjoy the show”. But this… this was a whisper that vibrated through all of his body. His senses heightened by their teasing exchanges during the previous days, this whisper set off a chain reaction that started in his ear and ended up deep in his loins, making him feel woozy and light in the head.

“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome… double Olympic gold medalist Yuzuru Hanyu! The thundering voice announced, coinciding with the silver spotlight that lit up Yuzu’s figure in the center of the rink.

Mesmerized, Javi couldn’t look away. The jeweled spaulders glimmered with alternating reflections of light with every move that Yuzu made as he took his starting pose. It was as if the costume had come to life, as if it had acquired an otherworldly quality, for it looked like it radiated the light rather than reflecting it. Yuzu stood still, his shoulders deceivingly immobile as a rock, but his stomach heaving with an adrenaline-powered force, making him look like a black panther, keeping low to the ground, with his every muscle ready for a wild leap.

With the first blow of the drum, Yuzu’s arms reached upwards, energy shooting through his fingertips, and everybody found themselves witnessing a battle scene right from the start of the piece. He wasn’t skating to music, -- the music seemed to be flowing from his graceful body, a quality that no other skater could replicate. His speed was superhuman, and so was his ability to come to a sudden halt. As the chorus started its rhythmic mormorando, Javi felt shivers go down his spine. He was engulfed by emotions that he had not believed were possible all at once. It was admiration and fear, caused by Yuzu’s devilish performance. It was like watching a volcano erupt, fearing for your life while marveling at the deadly creeping lava.

Yuzu was right, it was about his life. It was about his downfalls and his defeats, it was all there: Javi saw his loneliness, his determination, his neck covered in blood after the unfortunate collision, his tears, his frustration, his injuries, his pain, his sacrifice and rage, but with every crescendo in the music, he also saw a victory, gloriously pulling him up to unthinkable heights, to his powerful quadruple axel, to his weightless delayed jumps, to his seemingly effortless triumph. This program was Yuzu’s essence, an unquestionable proof of the restless vitality of his body and his spirit.

Javi was holding his breath, just like every other living soul in the arena, knowing he was witnessing history and feeling he had never been so attracted to Yuzu before. The thought that he had a special place in Yuzu’s life made him feel exceptional, the thought that he had been so close to that magical genius, made him feel like he knew something others didn’t, a secret which belonged to them and nobody else. His only hope was that when the night was over, he would have the strength in him to tell Yuzu how he really made him feel, to celebrate him, if only he got a chance… If only… he knew how…

There he was, his grown-up Romeo, ending what was probably the most impressive performance in the history of figure skating. For a moment the lights went off, the crowd was still, paralyzed with tangible silence that gave way to a cathartic outburst of applause. Yuzu was there, soaking in the glory, taking a bow, turning each way, receiving the gratitude for pouring his heart out. He had never looked more stunning, Javi thought. Pearls of sweat rolling down his cheekbones, glimmering as they got caught between the reflections of the stage lights and the jewels on his costume. He glowed… and for all Javi knew, in that moment he was the most beautiful man on earth…

***

Javi doesn’t remember much of what happened after Yuzu’s performance. They skated their final number, the one that was put together a couple of days ago, he was challenged to do some quads and nailed most of them, there were lights and flowers, there were camera flashes, but most of all, there was Yuzu...

Yuzu and his perfect body, Yuzu and his toned thighs, Yuzu and his narrow waist, every muscle emphasized by the thin black fabric of his costume, Yuzu and that enticing slit down his back that showed some skin and drove Javi insane as he skated behind him, Yuzu and his sparkling chest and shoulders, Yuzu and his long lines in a graceful arabesque, Yuzu and his gleaming eyes, Yuzu and his flirting with the audience which he wrapped around his little finger with the slightest of smiles... Yuzu and his extended arms, hands reaching for Javi’s, Yuzu and his fingers, Yuzu and his electric touch…

***

Leaving the packed ice rink and going back to the empty corridors backstage was always a bizarre experience for Javi. The sudden quietness would always make him shudder. Not this time. They left the arena walking side by side, Yuzu’s arm around his shoulders, Javi’s palm firm on Yuzu’s waist. Somehow, it was easier to do that with thousands of people watching. Being backstage and still hugging felt different. It felt… intimate. They were both clinging to one another because they both knew it would only last until they reached the changing rooms on the fourth floor, filled with their noisy fellow skaters sharing impressions after the successful show.

The elevator doors opened “Ding! Ground floor, going up” and they had to let go of each other, both feeling the cold absence of the broken embrace. Javi let Yuzu go in first, following him to the confined space that was made to look larger by the mirrors on all walls. His finger was hovering over the button with number 4 etched on it, when Yuzu went ahead and pressed number 9.

“Coffee shop?” Javi asked surprised. There was nothing else on the top floor. “It’s probably closed by now…”

“I know,” said Yuzu, looking at him over the shoulder.

They were standing close. So close that the rhinestones on Yuzu’s costume reflected on Javi’s face. They both knew they wanted it. To fall into each other’s arms, to caress each other’s bodies, to taste each other’s lips… Yuzu bit his lower lip teasingly and cast a meaningful look at the upper corner of the elevator: a CCTV camera. Javi understood immediately. Perfect as it looked, this was not the place for making out, unless they wanted it to be broadcast on the evening news.

Their heartrates accelerated as the elevator rose closer to the ninth floor, closer to their safe haven away from people’s eyes and camera lenses. Javi was looking at Yuzu’s mouth, a gaze so intense that he almost felt how soft and luscious those pink lips were, he could almost taste the salty drop of sweat now rolling behind Yuzu’s ear, getting absorbed by the high collar of his costume as it reached its edge. Yuzu was breathing through his mouth, his chest rising and falling erratically, his bottom lip moving ever so slightly as it got sucked in by the air he drew. They were seconds away from extasy and knowing it made the anticipation even sweeter.

A sudden pull upwards, a determined stop and the elevator doors opened “Ding. Top floor, going down.”

“Coño…” gasped Javi.

“Guys, it’s closed, let’s go down and find a pub or something.”

Johnny, Stéphane, Alex and Maia all stumbled into the elevator, convinced that the two frustrated faces that met them shared their disappointment about not being able to get a quick bite to eat. They were all starving after the show, which helped Javi and Yuzu dissimulate the real reason of the blow.

The elevator was full enough so that their shoulders would be touching, and suddenly Javi felt a strong grip on his hand. Yuzu’s long fingers squeezing his palm in a white-knuckled clench. Disappointed, impatient, enraged, passionate, but more than anything else – promising…


	6. White Ecstasy

It was a warm night. One of those nights that caress you with the heat after the sun has gone down, one of those nights that engulf you with the rich smells of roses and jasmine, heavy in the air, almost tangible. Unable to sleep, Yuzu flipped his pillow again, enjoying its refreshing but temporary coolness. He had a busy day waiting ahead of him: a couple of interviews and a visit to a children’s hospital, on top of a meeting with a sponsor. Then – dinner.

As much as he tried to get his mind ready for tomorrow’s meetings, he couldn’t help but go back to what had happened earlier and relive the experience in the elevator. He was mad it ended the way it ended, but for one thing he was grateful. He was finally sure.

_He wants me… He wants me, I do not have to ask to know he wants me… Now I’m sure he wants me… As I’m sure I want him… Javi… my Javi…_

If there had been at least a tiny bit of doubt in his mind before, seeing Javi’s disappointment when the whole group stumbled into the elevator made things clear to him. He could read that face like an open book, he had seen Javi lose before… He had seen him win, too. Winning always meant Javi would smile… the wide post-skate smile, the one that was so natural, so charming, so victorious, the one that alternated and competed with the open-mouthed gasps for air, as he was trying to catch his breath… that smile was happiness, it was a sign of achievement, a sign of satisfaction. Losing meant he didn’t get the medal, but, Yuzu knew better than anyone, it also meant he was deprived of pleasure. And that was Javi’s face today.

The more Yuzu thought about it, the more he felt his chest expand, as if the final realization that the feeling was mutual had filled his lungs with a substance lighter than air, pulling him upwards, closer to the ceiling, closer to the skies... He felt Javi’s eyes on him, he felt his warm proximity, he heard his breath, he relived the moment again and again, each time ignoring what followed, so he wouldn’t get frustrated. He didn’t even notice how his mind started adding scenes that he only wished had happened…

...the elevator doors open and they plunge into the darkness, Javi’s hands finding his, Javi’s heat burning his body, Javi’s lips claiming his…

And then he would go back to the elevator scene, relive the quivering thrill of anticipation… the doors open, they walk into the dark hall, Javi slams him against the wall roughly, his hands feeling him under the costume… while he buries his fingers in Javi’s hair, as their lips meet in a passionate kiss…

Then again, back in the elevator, he sees Javi close his eyes and try to calm his breath, but to no avail, his chest rises and falls, the doors open, they walk out slowly… to be welcomed by the comfortable darkness, Javi leads him to one of the soft seats in the café area, reclines Yuzu with practiced ease and hovers over him… A magnetic storm brewing between them…

“I’ve waited for so long, Yuzu, you’re driving me crazy…”

And then Yuzu props himself up on his elbows and reaches into that kiss, their lips melting into a perfect amalgam, every sound of their breath and kissing amplified by the darkness. He finally feels Javi’s weight descend on him and the friction below his waist is electrifying… His hand reaches down, burning, vigorous, spasming and sends him into white ecstasy… _Javi_ …

Yuzu was lying on his back as he caught his breath, eyes wide open, but blinded by the relieving pleasure before reaching for the bedside light and getting up for a wet towel… He returned to bed feeling exhausted, his limbs heavy, his heart- lighter than it had ever been…


	7. Ready

Javi’s touch was light and gentle on Yuzu’s face. They were both sitting in the shade, Javi’s back against a tree, Yuzu’s head resting on his lap. A delicious afternoon without any obligations, without any rush, without anybody to disturb them. Yuzu closed his eyes as Javi’s hand touched his hair, wrapping a thin strand around his finger, a pleasant breeze lifting his shirt… This was all Yuzu needed. This, and Javi’s eyes on him, his presence, his loving voice, his lips…

Somewhere in the distance, Yuzu heard the sound of a message on his phone and it took him about three seconds to realize he had dozed off on the couch in his hotel suite, with the fan gently caressing his skin and lulling him with the monotonous hum of its blades. He woke up from his nap to a beautiful light, golden rays entering through the white curtains at an angle, making all the colors in the room look saturated, all the lines crisp, all the textures deep… He looked around with a lazy smile on his face. The hard part of the day was over, the pleasant nap restored his energy, the memory of his dream lingered in his mind as he was admiring the delightful evening light. He looked at his phone and the name on the screen made his heart beat a tad faster: Javi.

“See you at dinner tonight?”

“Of course,” texts Yuzu.

“We are sharing a ride. Wanna come with us?”

“Yes! What time?”

“7:30 front door”

“Thanks, Javi! See you then!”

Yuzu looked at the time, he had 30 minutes to get ready. An almost cold shower woke him up completely and he was standing half naked in front of an open closet, looking at his options. His first instinct was to go with a simple T-shirt, but a voice at the back of his mind whispered he needed something slightly fancier for tonight’s dinner. He pulled out a white shirt and nodded approvingly as the delicate fabric touched his skin, still cool from the shower. It was fitted and hugged his waist beautifully, emphasizing his chest and shoulders.

He rolled up the sleeves for a more casual look, swept his hair quickly with a wet hand, then grabbed his phone, the key card, and cast a final look at the mirror. He squinted a little, his head turned to the side and… undid one more button with a fast flick of his fingers before running through the door.

Javi was already in the lobby.

“You look nice,” he said looking at Yuzu, who felt a sudden flush creeping up his neck.

“You too,” Yuzu heard himself say.

Boy, did Javi look good. His dark shirt enhanced his features, his jawline was sharp as a blade, the color of his skin – honey and olive… He looked smooth… effortless and smoldering… Going out at night was a Spanish specialty and, as Brian would say, he was so Spanish…

They got into the car, Alex in the front seat, Maia, Stéphane, Javi and Yuzu squeezed in at the back. No room whatsoever for polite distance, Yuzu’s left side plastered against Javi and yet, not close enough...

The conversation in the car was animated and nobody noticed when Javi casually put his hand just above Yuzu’s knee, his fingers squeezing lightly every now and then. Yuzu closed his eyes and inhaled… Javi’s cologne… it was a deep green scent, elegant, complex, mysterious and sensual… delicately sweet and insanely arousing… Yuzu wanted it on his hands, on his neck… he wanted it on his thighs… Oh, the wonders of the mind, the more Yuzu let himself go with it, the fewer barriers remained… He wanted to go to bed naked and wake up smelling of Javi…

The car pulled up at the entrance to the restaurant and they stumbled out to meet the rest of the group. Yuzu was feeling a little dizzy both from the cramped ride and his fragrant fantasies, while sensing Javi’s heat burning him all the way and his hand caressing him inconspicuously. On the doorstep they were greeted by the smiling chef:

“Ready for an adventure? Come on in.”


	8. Amuse Bouche

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zAThXFOy2c

They were ready for an adventure. The restaurant had sent out rather detailed questionnaires regarding food preferences and allergies about a week ahead of time. In the comments section Javi wrote “omnivorous,” with a little smiley face. Yuzu’s comment was “Please no bell-pepper, please.” He realized he wrote please twice, but… just as well, he thought, for good measure. “Not too much alcohol,” he had added.

At the restaurant they were welcomed by a charming host, who told them about the concept of dark dining and their approach to food. At dinner tonight they were to expect a fusion cuisine, all courses paired with some excellent wines, to bring out the best flavors. Yuzu thought he might give it a try, as long as it’s not to get him drunk but to enhance the taste. In the end, those guys seemed like they knew what they were doing, based on the extraordinary desserts the first night. And of course, the main attraction was eating in pitch darkness. On top of that, the more daring ones – including Javi and, oddly enough, Yuzu - signed up for a mystery menu so that they would have to rely on their senses completely, to know what was on their plate.

They were first led into a room with tiny lockers where they had to leave their phones and smart watches so no light would penetrate the dining hall. That was were it started feeling like they were about to experience something they never had…

“I’m curious, how do the servers find their way?” asked Stéphane.

“Night vision goggles?” suggested somebody.

“Noo, none of that here,” explained the host. “Our servers are all blind, and they are as comfortable doing their job as any other waiter working at a regular restaurant. Once you go through that door – he pointed – nobody sees anything.”

Hearing that, Yuzu felt excitement build up in his chest. The reason why he avoided eating out was precisely because he didn’t want to be seen. There was, of course, another reason for his enthusiasm. He was going to enjoy this with Javi, who was standing right beside him, looking as charming as ever. If anything, Yuzu was a little disappointed he wouldn’t be able to see Javi for the rest of the night. That being the case, he at least had to make sure they would be seated next to one another.

“OK guys, I need you to form a single file line and put your right hand on the right shoulder of the person in front of you,” said the host.

Yuzu felt a familiar touch on his shoulder and he didn’t need to look around to know it was Javi. He looked at the floor and smiled to himself. As soon as everybody was ready, they were led through a door into an unlit vestibule and then, once that door was closed, complete darkness surrounded them as they proceeded to the main dining hall. It sounded just like any other restaurant: music, people’s voices, cutlery gently hitting the plates, but everything felt oddly amplified, it was more noticeable. When they sat down, the table felt slightly taller than usual.

“To reduce splashing,” the host explained, and they could hear a smile in his voice. No sooner did they put their napkins on their lap, the first course arrived.

“While you wait for your meal, we would like to welcome you with a glass of champagne and a selection of hors d'oeuvres. The first one is our chef’s favorite amuse bouche, we hope you enjoy it.”

***

“Cheers,” Javi said. “To new experiences!”

“To new experiences,” repeated the voices around the big table.

Yuzu raised the thin flute to his lips: first, a memory of white flowers and fresh pastry, then - a cool ethereal foam, then - a delicate sparkle down his tongue. His fingers found the little bite on the plate in front of him. It was so delicious, he let out a loud hum.

“Do you like it?” asked Javi.

“Mhm… it’s so good…”

“If you loved the first one,” they heard the waiter’s voice, “wait until you taste this. It is based on your individual preferences.”

Javi felt his teeth sink into a satisfying bite of what he recognized immediately as tuna tartar, deliciously seasoned, fresh, just the right amount of spicy, warming up his mouth, when he heard another hum to the right of him, as Yuzu was enjoying his surprise.

“What did you get?”

“I don’t know, Javi, but it’s amazing. It’s messy, but so good…”

Yuzu took another careful sip of champagne, which, now combined with his mysterious appetizer, opened up with yet another bouquet of flavors.

“What did you get?”

“Red fish, raw tuna with, I think… yuzu sauce…” said Javi.

“Do you like my taste?” Yuzu couldn’t miss the opportunity to make a corny joke.

“Do I… sorry, what?”

“The sauce, Javi. Do you like it.”

“Oh… I thought… never mind. I love it, it’s my favorite.” Javi surprised himself with his inability to snap back, he truly meant what he said. 

“How is everything so far?” asked the voice behind them. “The third appetizer tonight is also a surprise. And sir, - Yuzu felt a pat on his shoulder, - be careful with yours because it can splash and stain.”

“Javi?”

“Mhm?”

“I’m afraid to ruin my shirt, can you help me... open? My hands are…”

“Come here,” Javi didn’t wait for him to finish the sentence. It was amazing how easily his hands found Yuzu’s nape in the dark, only based on his voice. Unhurriedly, he started tracing a line down Yuzu’s neck, in order to find the buttons of his shirt. He felt his finger rise over the smooth collarbone, the one he had admired countless times and had such a clear image of, that no light was necessary to make him shiver from the mere thought of touching it.

The top two buttons, Javi remembers, were undone. His fingers find the third one, carefully push it through the loop… undone… The fourth one… Javi imagines Yuzu’s nipples exposed and getting a little hard from losing the layer of fine cotton… undone… The fifth… he loves stripping Yuzu slowly, imagining his body emerge in front of him… undone… The sixth… his knuckles are now grazing Yuzu’s abs, feeling how his stomach expands with every erratic breath he takes… undone… The seventh… last one… undone… and with it the floodgates break open...

Suddenly Javi feels how Yuzu’s slender fingers slowly wrap around his hands and guide them to his now naked torso, burning hot and heaving. _Can this really be happening?_ Javi can hear his heart pounding and he feels a wave of heat flooding his chest, rolling up his neck, overwhelming him. He couldn’t care less about the divine food on the table and he cannot help but lean in and whisper into Yuzu’s ear:

“Quiero comerte a ti…” biting his earlobe gently before he pulls away.

The next thing he knows is Yuzu’s arms wrapping decisively around his neck, his breath incredibly close to his face. Javi feels Yuzu’s fingertip graze his bottom lip, telling him without words what his next move will be… _“You’re as smooth as Tennessee whiskey, you’re as sweet as strawberry wine”_ , Javi’s ear vaguely registers the lyrics of the song in the background and he feels he is getting drunk, drunk on Yuzu’s lips that are finally kissing him, _“warm as a glass of brandy,”_ soft and daring, succulent and demanding, driving him out of his mind like no other lips ever have…

It’s deep and slow, it’s trembling, it’s real… It’s their first kiss, but for Javi it might as well be his first kiss ever, erasing all the previous experiences like mere shadows of this pleasure. Kisses used to be nothing more than a stepping-stone, a second base, a prelude to sex, and here he is, losing himself in a free fall, not knowing which way is up and which way is down, Yuzu’s tongue sending him into a blind euphoria, his skin smooth and hot under Javi’s touch.

Yuzu’s mind went blank the moment Javi touched his neck… The way it goes blank when he skates, and his body just knows what to do. When everything around him disappears and he’s suddenly free… Just like that, everything around him disappeared, everything… except Javi. His lips, his breath, his hands, his smell, his taste, his passion… finally unleashed, finally his and his only…


	9. 24k

“Is everybody enjoying their meal?” asked the server.

“Mhm,” purred Yuzu, as Javi’s lips were traveling down his arched neck.

Yuzu had always been acutely aware of his body: every muscle, every cell in it had to work harmoniously for a greater beauty. His body was his instrument, fine-tuned through hours of training and close study. His body was his memory - repeating a pose brought him back to a particular moment in time… His body was his diary and what Javi was writing in it today was a memo that would defy the course of time…

The way he pulled Yuzu closer to him, the way his lips left a burning trail on his neck, the way their breathing quickened, as they tried to suppress every little sound that they made, the way Javi’s scent filled him, the way Javi’s tongue explored him, his teeth grazing Yuzu’s bottom lip before kissing his mouth, entering him, invading him without meeting any resistance, in what felt like both a surrender and a victory all at once...

Yuzu’s body was tingling with pleasure, he felt magical streams of energy running under his skin, like a mighty river that flowed up his chest and reached out to every vessel, spilling out over its borders whenever Javi’s lips touched his, inundating both of them. He couldn’t have enough. Now that he’s tasted him, he couldn’t have enough…

Javi’s mind was reeling, awash with all the things he would say now if he could…

_I’m crazy for you and you know it. But do you know how hot you are? Do you know how hard I get when I see you stretching in those tight black training outfits? Do you know it’s your body I picture when I have sex? Do you know how much I want you right now? You do… I think you do…_

The meals and drinks kept coming, but the most enticing one was sitting half naked next to Javi, driving him nuts with his sweet cherry lips, his salty skin, his spicy touch, delicious… finger-licking good…

“Phew, it’s hot in here,” said Yuzu.

“Your water, sir,” arrived the waiter just in time, placing a glass clinking with ice cubes in front of Javi.

“Hot, you said, hm?” Yuzu heard, as he felt the numbing cold of an ice cube on his lips. Javi had fished one out of his glass and was now tracing Yuzu’s lip contour with it. Melting, it sent cold rivulets under his chin… He felt the ice cube travel down his neck, down his chest, until it reached his left nipple, making Yuzu gasp for air. The slow, cold circles guided by Javi’s hand hardened it and Yuzu’s fingers gripped the edge of his seat as he was trying to tame his excitement.

His shoulder blades were resting comfortably against the chair. Suddenly, he felt hot breath where the ice cube had melted and then… burning lips, contrasting with the stinging cold that was there a moment ago, caressing the sensitive areola, first gently, and then pressing him steadily into the soft backrest. Yuzu was biting his lower lip, breathing deeply, spreading his knees, his hips rising upwards uncontrollably, while Javi’s tongue was making him shiver…

Maybe just a moment, maybe an infinity later, a new glass of wine lands in front of each one of them, accompanying a fragrant dish that is theirs to discover. Javi brings the glass to his nose… The aromas become visible in the dark. He inhales honeysuckle and exhales black olive… he swirls his glass, takes the first sip and leans in to lick Yuzu’s shoulder. He inhales a warm summer night and exhales an afternoon in Jaén… a slow kiss just under the collarbone… he inhales moonlight and exhales scorching heat… Yuzu’s hand is reaching down his back, making its way under Javi’s belt, nails digging, as he takes a hitched breath… His other hand finds Javi’s fingers and guides them up the inside of his thigh. The music in the background and the lively conversations around them disguise the sound of the zipper…

Yuzu fills Javi’s hand like he’s made for it, the way he fills his mind, like there’s no escape, the way his name fills his mouth, like it’s to be repeated and savored. His hips thrust upwards as Javi’s grip slides down his length, an unguarded gasp escaping his lips…

Javi stopped caring about the inappropriateness of it all the moment he unbuttoned Yuzu’s shirt. _To hell with it. Public place? So what. People who know them sitting at the same table? Fuck them. Fuck them all._ The only thing that concerns him now is how much he wants to take Yuzu in his mouth and to make sure Yuzu wants it too. But how to ask him? Was there any light, he would do it with his eyes, were they alone in the dark, he would ask him… _Can I_ … and then it dawned on him: this being a restaurant, nobody will understand…

“Can I… taste it?”

Yuzu had cracked the rules of the game:

“Have as much as you want,” Javi hears, as he feels Yuzu’s fingers grab a handful of his curls.

Javi’s left hand stays where it was, but his right one lands over Yuzu’s mouth, covering it gently yet firmly, a harbinger of unbridled extasy, a warning, a promising sign of the pleasure-filled moans that would give them in if they were allowed to be voiced. It turns Yuzu on even more… and he loses himself in the velvet goldmine of Javi’s mouth, deeper and deeper, feeling it with all his body, the way he strokes up and down, twisting, sending his heat up Yuzu’s abdomen, down his thighs, driving him into complete oblivion as he finally strikes the vein of gold… Yuzu’s arms tense up, his hands convulse into fists, his lips part and tremble under Javi’s palm, his head falls back, freeing him from the loving enclosure, letting him gasp for air… Javi leaves a trail of slow kisses on Yuzu’s heaving abs, and Yuzu feels a smile in each one of them…

“Come to my room tonight?” whispers Javi breathless into his ear.

“Have I ever said no to dessert?”

Instead of responding, Javi kisses him, still smiling, his mind half here, half already in his room, where they can get rid of their clothes and be as free as they wish, making love until the small hours, then falling asleep exhausted in each other’s arms and waking up together to realize this was not a dream.

***

The light that greeted them upon exiting the dining hall was dim, but even so, it felt bright for their eyes.

“So, Javi, how did you like the dinner?” asked Alex, with his camera ready for a new vlog.

“Hands down, the best thing I’ve had in my mouth,” said Javi, getting a good giggle around him.

Chuckling at that, Yuzu brought his hand to his face. As if out of nowhere… a familiar green scent coming from his palm made his heart skip a beat… The night had only just begun…


End file.
